Slip vs Relapse vs Binge

I always found the statement, "I slipped" to be kinda interesting.

Slip:  To slide involuntarily and lose one's balance or foothold


I am hard on myself. I expect alot out of myself. I take self-punishment to an unhealthy level at times. I probably don't love myself as well as I should. 'Slip' always seemed wimpy way to say that you just did something horrible.

Now, I haven’t relapsed lately. I have been doing my utmost to stay connected with the support group and do a small something for recovery daily.

A slip seems to be when you are completely blindsided and triggered beyond that “point of no return.”  Harriet wrote me a great email on this once.  It is one thing for an addict to turn a corner, see a super attractive immodest girl, look for about 3 full seconds and snap out of it versus being bored and clicking on a site that “you didn’t know what you would find” and look for 5 minutes at garbage.

A slip can be unintentional.  Slips can be good learning moments. You can figure out where the enemy is coming in. Lust is like an alien attack (Don’t see that movie…it’s freaky).  The clever beasts are trying to get in.  Just like Moroni and defending against the Lamanites. Lust never sleeps. Where is the devil going to go??  He has nothing better to do.

Slips are getting bombarded by something.  It is those ‘in your face moments.”  A couple of weeks ago I had a slip. I was doing well and got majorly triggered. I acted out in about 3 minutes. I did. I lost. It was dumb.  I called it out. I texted the group. I owned up to it.  Slips don't have to be the end of the world. If you have a slip, OWN UP TO IT. Be honest. I just have to. I have got to take responsibility and try to figure out what went wrong leading up to it.

But in this case I didn’t quite do that…..


I let it fester. I didn’t try and get beneath the surface. After that I relapsed. I started to bring walls down. I started to search things out.

A relapse is more intentional.  A relapse is where you open up the laptop at 11:30 pm while emotional about something your partner said ("I’m just going to check my email….").  Or turn on the TV when no one is home because you're kinda bored.  Or go to the gym so you can check out girls in their stupid tight workout clothes.  Those are relapses.  Those are unacceptable.
You can still learn from a relapse but it is a bit harder to trace the steps.  At least it is for me.  I think back on what I was doing during the days after my slip and I didn’t really remember. It becomes a blur.

Binge: multiple relapses in quick succession without much regard to consequences. 
This is how it usually goes for me, “Well I just slipped. And relapsed.  I going to call today a “lost battle.”  What are 3 more relapses today going to matter?? Today is a loss. I might as well enjoy the next few relapses.”  And that is a very dangerous place to be. Very dangerous.

But us, addicts have probably all been there.


The solution: stay connected, stay in tune with your feelings, pray lots, work steps, go to meetings. Don't beat yourself up. Let go, let god. Easy does it. One day at a time.

There are no new secrets. There really aren’t.  Just humility and consistency. But recovery seems possible to me.