The pre-chat

I had a good chat with the girl i'm dating last night.  I prayed.  I called my sponsor.  I called two other friends. I wrote up a script on what I was going to say. Honestly, I really hate saying the wrong things, even though I always do, so i prepared the best I felt i could.  (this was not the big confession...)

We met up and walked around her neighborhood.  I was open and honest. I expressed how my feelings for her are a little disjointed. That I am trying to be fair with her and not lead her on.  I did express that I want to keep dating but maybe not as fast or as much as we are doing.  (two dates in a week is alot for me).  I also told her about how I was kinda uncomfortable about the Saturday night set-up and about being "the boyfriend."  I apologized for not being more straightforward Saturday night about the dinner at parents thing.

Then we sat on her porch and had a real good chat about life and goals.  It was nice. And of course we ended up saying a long good bye (which means a long good night kiss).


You know? honesty communication really helps.  who would have known??  (all the women in relationships raise their hand) 


I am going to tell her about my addiction this coming weekend.  I have been preparing myself for this for a long time. (For much longer than I have known her). 

My plan is to write a long letter (i am still too cowardly to say it initally in person).  I express myself much better in writing.  I am going to give the honest truth but spare specific details.  I don't want to minimize it but tell it like it is.  If she wants to know more then I will be prepared to tell her.

I'm in a good place now but I am just starting real recovery.


I am not going to say one way or the other about what I expect from her. Her decision is completely out of my control.  We will be both be out of town the first week of May so I will take that time to withdraw for 2 weeks to let her really mull it over in her heart and mind.  (i kinda need a break anyway...to make sure I know how I feel about the whole thing)


If she has issues, i may need some advice from the women!!  Seriously, I don't want this girl to have any false notions about what sexual addiction is.  Nothing light or flippant about it!