Ok so I was having serious issues trying to get blogger to let me post text to my blog. But hey I got #7 out of the way….even though it was blank. L
Since I’m an addict, I’ll start with my excuses of why I’m behind on posts. I spent the week up at my parents. We had a sort of family reunion. I didn’t exactly have a computer to get on to write about my addiction. My family has one computer and its strategically placed in the most public area of the house. Yep, I have to be sneaking about recovery too.
My Wednesday post was when I ran into work for a bit to finish some things.
The week was not the best anyway. I had to take a complete break from family and friends on Saturday and also after church yesterday. In fact, I went on a massive hike Sunday. Anyone ever hiked Mt. Olympus in Salt Lake?? I also met with my bishop on Sunday. I texted him earlier in the week that things are getting too hectic and I’m skipping meetings and recovery work. I feel it. I can sustain this lifestyle.
Also, while my brother was in town, he and his wife asked me all sorts of questions about marriage and why I’m not pursuing it. Blast, no one seems to buy the statement “oh, I’m working on some things. I want to be completely ready.” Their response is always, “What things?? What are you working on??” They just see it as procrastinating. If I were to say it didn’t stress me a bit, I’d be lying.
So today I read my scriptures and pleaded with God to help me stay sober today. I can’t do it. I’m so beat up from this addiction.
I know EXACTLY how Sidreis feels in her latest post…..
But still, we have to recommit every day. I want to commit today. Last night I texted my sponsor for the first time in a few weeks. He hasn’t responded. Maybe he already dropped me.
I can stay sober but only if I do everything that it requires. And yes, I have to cut things out, and go to meetings and make calls. There is no other shortcut….trust me I’ve spent more time looking for a shortcut than actually working the program.
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