So women wonder why men keep looking at porn or engaging in Mr. M over and over. Don't we know that it is bad?? Don't we know how bad it hurts them?
Ok, let's get past this. I am an intelligent person. I know that pornography is wrong. i know that it is fueled by lust. I have watched conference after conference where they tell us that it is addictive and a pernicious disease. I have had a mother pissed off and enraged at me for this. I have seen relationship after relationship go nowhere because I can't stay interested bc i'm so full of lust.
Is the problem that we don't know what's up?? Are we not winning because maybe we haven't read enough scriptures or maybe we don't pray enough?? Is self-loathing going to free us of this?? No it isn't.
Look at the bigger picture. In order to beat this addiction we have to learn the process of repentance. The WHOLE PROCESS. We have to learn the atonement. We have to learn how to forfeit our wills. We have to learn to let our anger and tempers go. We have to learn how to communicate. We have to learn how to connect with others.
In a strange way, this addiction has beaten me to the ground and now I am wholeheartedly humbled so that now God can build me back up.
Think about the military....THAT'S WHAT THEY DO IN BASIC TRAINING! THEY BEAT YOUR SELF-WILL OUT OF YOU! The military can't have all these hot shots doing whatever.
Guys, stop trying to fight this. Stop trying to 'be the tough guy'. Quit trying to fight the sergeant.
I have beat my head against the wall for 13 years straight. My head hurts. I have come up with brilliant plans. Brilliant schemes and they all failed. How can it be?? I am too smart to get beat by an addiction!!
Well, truth is, I am powerless. Is this so shameful?? I have to do what works. Nothing else matters. If I have to confess everything to a sponsor, so be it. If I have to learn how to feel emotions and discern them, so be it. If I have to go to a meeting once a week and introduce myself as a sexaholic, so be it. If I have to tell a bishop and lose the right to take the sacrament and have everyone see me, SO BE IT!!!!
Whose army do we belong to?? God’s!! Let him be the general. Let him be the sergeant.
Day 46 today. One day at a time!!
Good stuff warrior. The way I see it, you've learned a few things it takes some men (and I'm not talking about addicts) a lifetime to learn. Way to go! I'm cheering for ya.
ReplyDeleteI am with Jane, good job. I am always afraid to tell my husband how proud I am of him for the amount of days he's gone without his addiction because maybe if I mention it, it'll freak him out and he'll go back to it. But, maybe that will help him go another day? Anyway, point is that I'm proud of YOU for going 46 days. You really are a warrior!
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