My old therapist Maurice (who runs a very good blog ) would send me this question in a text every morning. This is an obvious question, right?? Actually it isn't. This question needs to be refreshed EVERY SINGLE DAY!!
In a Jan. 30 journal entry, I wanted my answer on paper. You can also answer this question on a day to day basis which I like to do but I came up with my big 5. When my chemical levels are off or if lust is trying to creep in, I like to review the big 5.
Here they are:
1- It is my mortal purpose.
I believe in God. I believe God. I believe I am a spiritual being on an earth in a fallen state. I have a mortal body. It is my mortal (also eternal) purpose to learn how to subdue the flesh to the spirit. Recovering from addiction is teaching me this process.
2- I desire the companionship of the Holy Ghost
What is the promise of all our covenants?? What is the greatest gift granted in this life?? It is the guidance of the third member of the Godhead. His presence allows you to discern lust, discern when things are off, discern mood shifts. It sharpens all your abilities. Sobriety and honesty encourage His presence.
3- I want to serve and love people more.
I have many opportunities to serve. I have a pretty solid testimony and understanding of the gospel. I am not afraid to open my mouth and speak gospel truth. I can home teach. I can do service where ever. I need purity and love to burn within my soul, otherwise lust and apathy set in and I could care less about anyone else.
4- I want to return to the temple.
I am LDS. I love being LDS. I think everyone should be as well. The temple is the holiest and most sacred place on planet earth. I want to be worthy and able to attend and worship there. When I am able to enter again, I want to remain worthy to attend every week. There is great power in this.
5- I want to be worthy and ready to date, have a serious relationship, and get married in the Lord's temple.
This is not my item #1. This reason will naturally flow from the fulfillment of reasons 1-4. I don't know personally (only bc I haven't experienced it), but I have been promised by those who are wiser, that the pinnacle of human happiness culminates in true marital love. That is the truth. That is sound doctrine. All that exists, all that was created, was to exalt man and woman together in eternal, celestial love and unity.
I fight today. Today is day 37. One day at a time. Always one day at a time.
Why do you fight?? Why do you care??
COngrats on day 37.
ReplyDeleteOK I've been reading, but since Scabs dared comment I do too. Thank you for writing! It helps me understand what Husband (mine) is battling and that is good for me. So thank you!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on day 37 and the 36 before it.
LOL! Mrs. A, are we all blog stalking and just a little nervous about commenting here? I've been reading too...nice to get your point of view. and I passed the link to my husband. Maybe he'll dare comment too.
DeleteCongrats on day 37, Warrior. Keep it up. I hope the men start reading and supporting you (even if they are just lurking and not commenting). I know my fight is different than your fight, but why do I fight? I fight because my husband is a good person and I think this addiction is holding him back in life. I think he has a lot of potential that he is not realizing or just doesn't see in himself. I don't think he necessarily associates the two, but I do. I fight in hopes that my husband will go where he wants to go in life. I am not, however, fighting out of guilt or obligation or an interpretation that temple covenant mean I have to stand by him no matter what. I fight because I care about him and believe that he can succeed.
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