I did it. I told the girl I am dating what it is that I have struggled with all these years.
I had stressed about this for a long time. Friday morning I prayed for like a half an hour straight on how to do it. I knew it had to be this weekend. I thought of a letter. I thought of an email. But I wanted to say it in person. We were hitting the point where I don't think our relationship could have emotionally advanced any further. I concluded that it needed to be discussed Sunday night. Beforehand, I told her to pray for it and be ready.
We drove up to the Draper Temple grounds. I discussed some other things first, then after I made a long pause...I said it. "I am recovering from an addiction to pornography. And I am on day 51."
She already knew of the days...she knew it was for something important. She knew that I had told her many times that I have been working on a healing and repenting of some major things. She wasn't shocked. She held my hand and felt for me. Good grief girls are so compassionate!! I didn't give details. I didn't go into the whole, long history of it. I may at a later point, but tonight that wasn't needed. I told her clearly that this will be something that I battle seriously for the next few months/years (and quite frankly...all my life). She accepts that too.
What a wonderful girl!! God bless all the sweet and understanding girls. What a relieft!!
I am NOT going to slacken my pace or get lazy in my recovery now though!!! The battle rages on. But now I have a teammate that I care alot about and who cares alot about me. Thanks C!!!
I'm so happy for you, Warrior. And so glad your girl is so patient and loving. I hope this extra support gives you even more resilience and strength to overcome...we're all rooting for you!
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome Warrior! I am so proud of you! And yes, we women are so kind and compassionate and full of love... it's our "celestial orientation" as Maurice calls it...
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you!
Bless her and bless you for having the courage! Hang in for day 52, yeah?
ReplyDeleteThe truth is amazing. When we are so afraid to reveal it, it strangles us. But when we finally share it there is so much compassion and love. From personal experience, nothing hurt more than the lack of honesty. Being compassionate is being a woman, it is natural and feminine. I am so glad you found safety in her compassion and empathy.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good Man, keep up the honesty. April said it perfectly. A woman can handle so many difficult things, if we are just given the chance to face them. We are not weak we are strong.The compassion is one of the things that make us strong. You did the right thing. And I am glad She is wonderful. Your Courage is AWESOME!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Warrior! I have been so absent from the blogs and I missed this! I feel like I missed a very important step in my little brother's life. ;) (Note to everyone--Warrior is not my little brother. Ha.) Seriously. I know you were worried about this. I'm really proud of you. This is very hard to do. And, yes, girls are so very compassionate and understanding. (And a little clueless as well. Or at least I was.) However, like I said, I do not regret marrying my husband one bit. NOT ONE BIT. And you know that if your relationship keeps getting more serious and she ever has questions, you can send her to me. Keep up the fight, little bro. ;)
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