How to win one day at a time

So I am going to be honest, i am no pro at recovery, at being sober, at going years or even months with complete purity and righteousness.  I am on day 28 today.  Before that, I racked up 15 days.  Not much time for sure.  But before that I was lucky to go 10 days without giving into lust. I am pleased where I am at. The Holy Ghost is with me which means God is pleased.

Here is what I am doing to win one day at a time.

1-         EMBRACING A 12 STEP PROGRAM

            I am working with an SA group. You may be familiar with ARP or PASG. Well, SA is the AA version.  Sexaholics Anonymous.  Sounds pretty intense. In fact, many people in the group have done far worse stuff that I ranging from prostitutes, prison, to paying for abortions.  I have never had sex.  Never came close to it. In fact, I had my first full make out session with a girl less than a month ago (and it was kinda nice..not lustful which surprised me)

            This is what I learn from SA:

1)      Admit you are powerless.  There is nothing weak about admitting your weaknesses. My weakness is that I am addicted to lust.  Sure you can say porn, or sex, but really, it is lust, which is the antithesis of love. Even below the lust, are emotional issues.

2)      Believe in a power greater than yourself.  Don’t stop at feeling powerless, go to the next step! Take hope. Take hope even if you don’t want it. You can’t live with fear nor hopelessness.

3)      Be willing to turn you will over to God.  Surrender. You will hear this principle a lot with SA members.  You feel lust; you surrender it to God. You feel resentment; you surrender it to God.  I cannot go toe-to-toe with the lust monster. He has kicked my trash since I was about 13.  I don’t want to fight it.  I want to let it go. Don’t get in the ring with lust.

4)      Make phone calls. This is part of the surrender process.  It brings the lust to light. Anything of the devil wants shame and secrecy. I make a call to someone in the group.  I tell them how I am feeling.  It is not just about, “uh, I feel horny. I want porn.” Ok, what am I really feeling?? Usually, I’m upset that I don’t have a wife. Or maybe I am resenting  someone. Or maybe I simply didn’t eat breakfast.  Call someone and explain it thoroughly, then accept their advice if they give it.

5)      FEELINGS. Men do not like feelings. I don’t!! I have spent the past 5 years focusing on school and my physical abilities. But this has been the biggest turning point. You have to feel!!  You have to allow yourself to feel even the uncomfortable stuff. Don’t sweep it under the rug, but feel it.  And describe it to someone and be okay with it! Emotions are okay. Let the negative ones go. This takes time and practice for sure.

2-         ONE DAY AT A TIME MENTALITY

            Quit trying to set these ridiculous long-term goals. Fine, think ahead. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, I CAN ONLY WORRY ABOUT THE MOMENT! I CAN ONLY WIN ONE DAY! I CAN ONLY SURRENDER LUST WHEN IT OCCURS! I cannot fight tomorrow’s battle now.  Don’t overwhelm yourselves. Women need to rejoice every day that their men wins. Don’t get all panicky! Fear is of the devil. He wants us to get all worked up. “what if I never get married…???”  “what if I get into a relationship and then she rejects me when she finds out my secret???” "I can't quit. I can't be clean!"
            Just today. Just one day. Relax. Believe. Be honest. Feel the emotions.