So I had a decent finish to yesterday. My frustration was not from getting tempted or lusting. It was a combo of a lot of other things. I felt this surge of ‘warrior chemistry.’ My old therapist, Maurice, would talk about this. It is the same chemistry that flows through a man when his family is under attack. It was very important for our survival. I ended up reading some blogs and writing the one that I did. I wanted to make stronger resolves. I want to be consistent with this addiction. I don’t want anymore stupid first drinks. I want to be spiritually close to God.
Sadly, I missed the phone meeting at 815. I probably should have still called in. Well, I wanted to visit someone and connect. I tried visiting a guy in my ward…not home. Then i felt impressed to visit a girl who has been debating whether to stay in the church or not. We had a good talk.
I realize that I have an ability to chat and connect with people. And that I need to do so. I was sad that I missed a meeting but was glad that I was able to tell her something.
So I texted the sponsor this morning and all I get is:
“Thanks for sharing. Conversations do not count as meetings. Please start your 30 days over.”
Dang!!
Can you imagine if this guy was a girl I was trying to date?? Talk about hard to get… But I’ll get him to be my sponsor! I’ll jump through these hoops.
Meeting tonight which I am relieved about. My friends were putting together a dinner and fire/smores night tonight at 8 which would have collided. Just got a text that we are switching to 9 pm. Hitting meetings daily makes me really think about my schedule.
I was thinking about your posts tonight - I hope you're still at it, working hard. I'm cheerin for ya dude!
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